Boundaries & Accountability
By: T-Kea Blackman Mental Health Advocate
& Founder of Fireflies Unite, LLC | Bringing Light Into Darkness
As an entrepreneur and suicide survivor, I have become self-aware through my recovery, as burnout can be a trigger for my depression. This is why it is important for me to check in with myself to see how people, places, and things make me feel.
A clear mind and spirit can help with not only being creative but also increases productivity and the ability to focus. I've noticed that when my mind is not clear, I am unable to put my best foot forward and become easily distracted.
Boundaries
Boundaries are key to ensure that I am mentally, emotionally, and physically healthy and have a healthy business and personal relationships.
This includes saying no when my plate is full and keeping my values at the top of my mind. For example, my phone goes on “do not disturb” from 9 pm-8 am so that I can have adequate rest and get up early in the morning to workout
This also includes scheduling time on my calendar to spend time with family/friends and taking time to unplug and rest.
Overcoming
I've overcome being in the darkest place of my life which motivates me when I'm presented with challenges. I remember positive experiences that bring me joy. I challenge my negative thoughts by telling myself thoughts that prove the negative thoughts are wrong. I also practice gratitude and focus on my spirituality by growing my relationship with God which has helped me to remain positive.
When your personal relationships are taking a toll… Balancing Love & Business
By: Melissa McKinney with The Hive Law
When I first started out on my own, I was forced to do a lot of hustling. I didn't have partners to feed me clients or a well-known firm's name attached to my business card. This meant I had to go on a lot of coffee dates, networking events, and call up other small firms to see if they needed help.
I was so focused on building this monster of a business that my home life took a toll.
At the time, my husband and I had only been married for a little over a year. So the honeymoon phase had passed and we could no longer excuse the fact that I was spending almost every waking second thinking, planning, or talking about “The Hive”.
Eventually, I had to face the facts: “I wasn't present in my marriage.” So
I had to make a change; it came in increments, though. It was difficult for me to just stomp on the breaks and automatically have a perfect balance. It took a lot of purposeful planning to help me really let go of the workday and transition into my non-working self.
Since most of my work was done from home, I made sure to keep the office door shut after office hours. So from 4 pm to 7 am the next day, I wasn't allowed to open that door. It helped for me to physically turn off my work mode. That was probably my biggest struggle. Work was so accessible; it was literally under the same roof.
Next step I took was to basically disconnect from my phone after 4 pm altogether. Since I have all my work emails, contacts, etc. at the press of a button on my phone, I decided to just be phone-free (as much as possible) once my husband got home from work. This forced me to be in the moment and not jolt at the sound of an incoming email. It also helped me to unwind before bed, so that was a huge plus.
Finally, I made a conscious effort not to talk about work in a negative way.
When “The Hive” was first starting, it was very easy to complain.
Complain about all the work that needed to get done, all the clients I wish
I had, and how law school doesn't prepare you for this. I was a real wet diaper when I think about it. I was bringing all of that negative energy into our house. Now, I make sure not to complain on and on about how hard work is. For starters, everyone's job is hard; it's not like my husband's work is a walk in the park. So now, I make sure to talk positively about my day, clients, and opposing counsel. I can definitely tell that it makes a difference in the mood of the house but also with how I see work.
Mental Health as an Entrepreneur: Birds Eye-View
By: Kara L. Stachel, Esq.
“Transactional residential and commercial real estate and probate law”
Honest Self-assessment
Your personal issues will affect your business when you no longer enjoy your work - when it becomes work. People become entrepreneurs for the freedom it offers, but when entrepreneurship feels more like a ball and chain, it's time to do a mental health and personal check up on yourself. We all hit those walls, but when it gets to the point where you are no longer productive or your business stops growing, then it’s time to evaluate what is going on in your personal life that is holding you back. I have certainly had to do this more than once in my four (4) years of being a business owner and once
I pinpoint what it is that is holding me back in my personal life, and figure out how to correct it, my business relationships flourish, my productivity increases and my work becomes fun again. I remember why I do what I do and what I love about it; no one starts a business to do something they hate. When I put my mind in this mindset, it becomes a win-win for my clients and me.
Creativity Must Flow
It is difficult, if not impossible, to be creative when your mind is focusing on negatives and you are consistently stressed. When you are focused on the negatives and stress, your mind and body go into survival mode, rather than the creative mode. You are no longer thinking of growth and the future, but rather how to survive the present. It is like running on a hamster wheel - you will not get anywhere. Once you are able to clear your mind, you are able to think about the bigger picture with your business and how to foster growth and improvement. It is not only important but absolutely necessary in the formula for success. Clients and employees will never want to work in a negative environment, but a positive environment will always foster growth and productivity.
Be bold in business and in a balanced personal life
Scheduling is so important for balancing business and your personal life.
Plan everything and stick to that schedule, including when you are going to make your first cup of coffee in the morning and your children's soccer game or practice schedules as soon as you know them to ensure nothing interferes with that important time. Schedule breaks for yourself - you are human and we all need them.
Schedule specific days and times that you will set aside for meetings, networking and even exercise in order to develop a consistent schedule that you are able to stick to without excuses.
If you and your friends have a favorite yoga instructor on
Tuesdays, block that class on your calendar for every Tuesday for an indefinite period of time. That way, when someone asks if you are available on Tuesday at that time, you can let them know you have another appointment, but offer another day and time that you are available, preferably during your blocked meeting days and times. Also, try to maintain consistency with the days that you network, whether it is a group event or a one-on-one with a potential client or referral source. You are an entrepreneur and you chose to be for the freedom it offers. If you are not able to create your schedule then you are doing it all wrong!
Your Circle & Activity
Physical activity and surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals is priceless. Your physical health plays a huge role in maintaining your mental health, so be sure to maintain a consistent schedule that includes physical activity.
I recommend at least three (3) days a week. Even if that means just taking a walk in the middle of your work day. There is no reason you cannot give yourself fifteen minutes of fresh air or to close your office door, put your phone on do not disturb and meditate.
Also, meet with other entrepreneurs and vent to them and use them as a sounding board for ideas of what works and what does not. They will be your best resource and lift you up on days when you are down and you will do the same for them.
Moreover, you will likely end up being referral sources for each other, so you can share in the successes.
I meet with two other law firm owners once a week and it has been a game changer for my mental health, in addition to learning from them things that
I can improve on to make my own practice more efficient. Also, I have discovered they face the same struggles and learning from them how they handled certain situations has made me feel less alone and more like I am part of a tribe of entrepreneurs that have come much further and experienced much more success than previously thought.
Remember, you are part of a small group that had the audacity to start your own business and you made it this far. There is nothing standing in your way of success, except you. Get out of your own way and own your success - you deserve it and you are more than capable!
